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Mentoring made our marriage stronger

1/26/2016

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Guest testimonial by Emily and Carl Wilson for Tuesday@10:10 blog post

Before mentoring we had trouble talking about issues and differences. We weren't very open about feelings. Frustration would build until it couldn't anymore. Our relationship was good, but not what it could be. We chose to pursue mentoring as a decision together.

We had taken RINGS to learn more about ourselves and how to better our relationship. It went so well we wanted to continue in mentoring. It was to bring a new meaning into our lives. Mentoring made our marriage stronger. It improved us as parents and as people. We forget sometimes to use tools for things we learned that will better our relationship, but always bounce back how we should. No matter how hard a situation becomes, we are able to figure it out instead of giving up.

Renewal mentoring by David and Tina Cotto

"We had taken RINGS to learn more about ourselves and how to better our relationship. It went so well we wanted to continue in mentoring."

​--Emily and Carl Wilson
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How premarital mentoring helped our first year of marriage

1/5/2016

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Guest testimonial by Leiah and Justin Abshear
for Tuesday@10:10 blog post

My husband, Justin, and I decided to pursue mentoring because we wanted to get married and we wanted to be better prepared for that. Not only did our mentor couple meet with us multiple times before our wedding, we also met throughout the first year of marriage! This was extremely helpful because they gave us so many tools to prepare for marriage and then helped us utilize them correctly in order to get through that crazy first year of married life. 

We felt so comfortable with our mentors and often sought their advice. They gave helpful hints and shared personal experiences which made us feel normal and connected. Upon learning that we were Christians, they gave us some amazing and practical verses to use and helped keep our focus on God. They were two of the kindest people and helped make our first year of marriage spectacular!

Premarital mentoring by Brian and Lisa Case​

CLICK for more info on marriage mentoring

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Leiah and Justin Abshear, married 10/4/14
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Why marriage mentoring?

9/1/2015

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By Joy Sherman, Tuesday@10:10 blog post

Most people would never start a major project in an area where they have no expertise without consulting someone who’s “been there, done that” before. While many are adept at figuring things out as they go, the more significant a project, the more essential outside input becomes for successful results. What can be helpful is identifying an experienced individual or two to weigh in on the plans and ideas, and allowing that advice to impact the choices being made toward accomplishing the goal. Even those who start a project without input can find themselves needing to call in a more skilled person to help them out of a tight fix.

The same approach has value in preparing for and working through a marriage. Perhaps the biggest “project” you may ever tackle is merging two lives into a new union, where both partners are loved, valued and honored. Marriage mentoring, either before or during a marriage, allows a married couple, practiced in the art of “being married,” to speak into the lives of those just starting out as well as those who have encountered some obstacles on the way.

Imagine the in-love couple with stars in their eyes who may overlook some realities in a new marriage – whiskers left in the sink, a less-than-OK organizational style, burnt dinners, or any other of a variety of unique couple clashes. Brain science says that the chemicals in our brains overload our ability to see (and therefore believe) the possibility that these things may occur. Another married couple, who has lived through the gaga-eyed season of new love, can talk about the need to kindly communicate expectations and extend grace as newlyweds navigate the early months of marriage.

Or consider the folks who’ve been married awhile and suddenly realize they knew less than they thought about what it takes to be married. Enter a mentor couple stage right; the support, encouragement and helpful tools (like this RINGS chat) from seasoned veterans can often help smooth out things in a marriage where a couple seems to be hitting a lot of speed bumps.

If you’re looking for a marriage that will go the distance, considering talking to people who are trying to live the example. Marriage mentors aren’t perfect, but they’re invested in seeing your marriage succeed. Who couldn’t use someone like that on their team?

Click for more on marriage mentoring

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    Tuesday@10:10

    A weekly post on Tuesdays at 10:10 am that addresses some topic associated with relationship and marriage health. Don't miss it!

    Author

    Main author is Lavern Nissley, Executive Director of MRCMV. Guest authors will be included in posts from time to time.

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