By Ronda Nissley, Tuesday@10:10 blog post
Ronda is co-director of Marriage Resource Center of Miami Valley, Springfield, Ohio In our RINGS class we describe the "Journey to Disconnectedness" (by Tim and Linda Buttrey) where couples drift along a path of chronic busy-ness, fatigue and irritability until they find themselves totally disconnected and seeking fulfillment in addictions or other relationships. With 36 years of marriage behind us and 20+ years of working with couples - we can confidently conclude that ALL couples experience seasons of high stress and busyness. There are times when there seems to be no end to work and family demands and life may feel like it's spiraling out of control. We have seen young, committed couples move from "We will be together ALWAYS - no matter what" to "I don't recognize this person I'm living with anymore". We've been there ourselves. A common theme running through the lives of these struggling couples are lives that are crazy busy with time demands that far exceed the ability of any human being to effectively manage. Our "Serotonin Tanks" are constantly running on empty and our ability to regulate emotions and effectively problem solve are greatly compromised - two skills critical to develop and sustain healthy relationships. Our message to ourselves and other couples is to "H.A.L.T." Pay attention to the 12 serotonin depleters and 12 serotonin replenishers. Take time to de-stress and de-compress. (See previous blogs). Create a peaceful oasis in your busy day to connect with your spouse. Make time with your spouse a priority - just 10-15 minutes a day of quality intentional connecting (think RINGS chat) can reap huge relationship dividends. If you have NO IDEA what we're talking about - sign up for a RINGS class and we'll tell you. Previously . . . Unlocking the serotonin mystery (Part 1 of 3 posts) The serotonin tank (Part 2 of 3 posts)
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By Ronda Nissley, Tuesday@10:10 blog post
Ronda is co-director of Marriage Resource Center of Miami Valley, Springfield, Ohio Many of you are familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman) and the importance of filling each other's "love tank". I propose that we also have a "serotonin tank" - there are things that add to our serotonin levels and things that take away. Monitoring these levels may enhance our ability to get along with others and reduce our desire to harm the other person. 12 Serotonin Depleters Hunger. Caused by: skipping meals, delayed mealtimes, too few calories Anger. Caused by: unmet expectations, interacting with difficult people, too many bills Loneliness. Caused by: conflict with others, move to new town/job/church, isolated from others (could be due to illness, job dynamics, work or home demands, or poor choices) Tired. Caused by: Work, children, illness This list sounds oddly familiar to a list of common stressors? So basically anything that causes stress in your life, can also deplete serotonin. 12 Serotonin Replenishers Hunger: 3/3 rule - Eat 3 things: Protein, Complex Carbs; Healthy Fats every 3 hours; Reduce sugar intake; Focus on good nutrition Anger or bad mood: "Mindfulness" - fully present in the moment with an acceptance; Soaking up sunlight; Attitude of gratitude Loneliness: Nurture connected relationships; Attend church and life group; Do one thing for someone else each day (focus on someone besides yourself) Tired: Establish a regular sleep routine; share household tasks; create margins in your life - learn to say "no" to good things Previous post: Unlocking the serotonin mystery (Part 1 of 3 posts) Next post: Serotonin-healthy relationships (Part 3 of 3 posts)
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Tuesday@10:10A weekly post on Tuesdays at 10:10 am that addresses some topic associated with relationship and marriage health. Don't miss it!
AuthorMain author is Lavern Nissley, Executive Director of MRCMV. Guest authors will be included in posts from time to time. Archives
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