By Lavern Nissley, Tue@10:10
My favorite task/email/calendar app

So, you may be wondering, "Lavern, why a post about an app when this blog features topics on relationship and marriage health?"

Great question! At first glance a time management app and relationships don't seem to go together. But, looking deeper, if there is a way to manage emails, tasks and calendar items better, THAT HAS TO HAVE A POSITIVE IMPACT ON RELATIONSHIPS. Greater sense of order, follow through and fewer items falling between the cracks. After all, emails, tasks and calendars are, for the most part, associated with PEOPLE.

I've been using an app called Handle on my iPhone, iPad and PC desktop (they all sync with each other). Over the years I've used all kinds of approaches to keep my life together. Handle is one of the best in helping tame the email monster, quickly entering and updating tasks and maintaining a calendar - ALL IN ONE PLACE.

There is no need for me to list all of this app's features and benefits here. Just go to the Handle link and explore for yourself. Scroll down to see the 1-2-3-4 Steps to using Handle:

• CAPTURE - To dos at the speed of life: Talk to Siri, type, swipe emails into tasks
• ORGANIZE - Make to dos smart so that you're reminded at the right time and location
• PLAN - Drag and drop to schedule and prioritize
• DO - Focus on today's plan, avoid distraction, get more done

Trust me, you'll have more time for the things in life that really matter - PEOPLE! And you'll stay on top of the many things PEOPLE you're connected to care about.

Check it out!

By Alex and Don Flecky, guest authors for Tuesday@10:10

Excerpts printed by permission from July, 2015 blogpost at http://www.evfreefullerton.com

Sometimes when we’re not feeling so good, we go to the doctor. If we’re really in bad shape we may go to the hospital. Most of the time though, we take care of our health little by little. We do it by brushing our teeth or exercising or watching what we eat. Relationships work the same way.

When our relationship isn’t “feeling so good” we may need to have a talk with our spouse or sign up to see a peer counselor. If our relationship is in really bad shape, we may need to go to the “hospital” and see a pastor or therapist or join a support group. 

Our first year of marriage was definitely in need of a “hospital,” when I (Don) thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life in marrying Alex and the only thing keeping us together was my commitment to Christ. We’re grateful that our church offered the help we needed. Our church is a great relationship hospital!

But what about the rest of the time when things seem to be going fine—how are you keeping your relationship healthy? What are the “vitamins” you are taking for your relationship? What relationship “exercising” are you doing?

Marriage classes help couples connect in healthy ways, resolve differences, and grow their relationship. We know—we’ve attended them and now teach some of them. Our church is a great relationship health club!

Bottom line: If you completely ignore your physical health, you’ll get sick. You might even die. The same is true with every marriage relationship. Give it the nourishment and care it needs and enjoy the benefits that God Himself designed for us.


Alex and Don Flecky are founders of CoupleTalk and Marriage Ministries Directors of EvFree Fullerton, CA

By Lavern Nissley, Tuesday@10:10 blog

Independence Day. Freedom from tyranny. Something to be celebrated, right? Our country took a step forward in becoming independent from Great Britain 239 years ago. I don't think anyone would want to go back to the way things were. Taxation without representation . . . ugh! In this context "independence" is a positive word.

Somehow I don't think "independence" is such a positive word in marriage! Two people seeking ways to be free from each other's influence feels more like a recipe for divorce than for a healthy marriage. 

Speaking from experience, I can say that the "independence mindset" is damaging and leads away from, not toward, unity. I have seen the negative impact upon Ronda, my wife of 36 years, when I make a unilateral decision that affects her--be it a large purchase, a time commitment or anything that leaves her perspective out in the cold.

A better mindset for a healthy marriage is "inter-dependence", a mutual working together toward common goals. It acknowledges that we both need the other person while bringing positive contributions ourselves. Several examples:

• Working together to prepare a meal
• Riding a tandem bicycle
• Tackling a not-so-fun household project together
• Seeking your partner's perspective on any meaningful topic while sharing your own respectfully

It is true that all of us need our space from time to time. Freedom from anyone telling us what to do. But I wonder if a healthy balance of independence and inter-dependence may not be better for marriage relationships. How have you experienced this balance (or tension) in your relationship? Talk with your spouse about how the balance is feeling.

Then light a few safe fireworks and celebrate your life together!