Our view on 50 Shades of Grey

By Lavern Nissley
Executive Director, Marriage Resource Center of Miami Valley


SO, WHAT IS OUR VIEW ON 50 SHADES OF GREY?

Lots of buzz in recent weeks about the 50 Shades of Grey movie being released tomorrow. Some see it as a step forward in sexual awareness and openness. Others see it as offensive and to be avoided. How do you see it?

Thankfully, America is a country where each person can make his or her own choice. You can see the movie without fear of having your eyes gouged out. I respect (without judging) your choice to view it, if that’s what you’re inclined to do.

However, I rise in support of those expressing concerns over themes in the movie that are incongruent with healthy relationships. One such cause, http://endsexualexploitation.org/fiftyshadesgrey, is quite direct in connecting 50 Shades of Grey with violence against women. See quotations below.

• “The Fifty Shades of Grey book series and franchise promote torture as sexually gratifying and normalize domestic violence, particularly violence against women. This type of material cultivates a rape and sexual violence culture and is now permeating our society.”
  
• “The mass media and throngs of women are swooning over the twisted “love story” “Fifty Shades of Grey,” but this cultural phenomenon’s impact on society will serve only to glamorize sexual violence and romanticize domestic abuse.”
  
• “Of course people have the right to read and watch what they want to watch. However, most individuals are not educated on these issues and are buying the lies pushed in the story and by the sensationalized media.”
  

Although we have chosen not to view the movie, here is our understanding of the plot, as described by those who have:

• Short Summary: The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy follows wealthy businessman Christian Grey as he meets Anastasia Steele, a virginal college student, and woos her into his BDSM world and “red room of pain”. The main character is a childlike, mousey, young woman, lacking confidence and capability, who becomes the target of a powerful, intimidating, older man who puts her under contract to serve as a sexual “submissive.”
  

I am surrounded by women I love and respect: my wife, Ronda, of 36 years; my sister, Karen; my two daughters, Jessica and Kristen; my daughter-in-law, Emily; my granddaughter, Ali; numerous sister-in-laws, professional colleagues and friends.

If I were suddenly to become a Christian Grey with any one of them (minus the sex), I can’t imagine our relationship becoming healthier. If anything, I would anticipate strains, fractures and likely, deterioration.

SO, I'M GOING TO VOTE. With my wallet. I’m joining a grassroots movement urging moviegoers to boycott Fifty Shades of Grey and use the money they would spend on tickets, popcorn and drinks ($50) to support a domestic violence shelter or agency.

I’m choosing a local shelter, Safe Harbor, as my expression of support for women to be empowered toward wholeness. If you wish to donate, go to http://safeharborhouse.org/ and click on DONATE.

WILL YOU JOIN ME?