Marriage Predictors

John Gottman, a “mathematical” marriage researcher, has identified four predictors of divorce known as “The Four Horsemen.” On the positive side, he has also identified four predictors of marriage success.

Predictors of divorce

• Stonewalling – withdrawing and refusing to participate in communication
• Criticism – nagging without warmth and open-mindedness
• Defensiveness – not take responsibility for contributions to problems
• Contempt – a total lack of respect for partner

Predictors of marriage success

• More positives than negatives – at least a 5:1 ratio
• Repair attempts – “putting on the brakes” instead of continuing unproductive cycles
• Soft start-up – gentle in sharing complaints or desires
• Accepting influence – not just understanding partner, but actually accepting of his or her ideas

Source: Gottman, John. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
(New York NY: Three Rivers Press, 1999)

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